12:12 from ages ago.

12:12 in the morning
tired and alone
thoughts tumble and fall
down my mind
the raging river within continues
then stop.
nothing happens
nothing ever happened
sit
move
run
fly
stop
die
nothing happens
the world doesn't know
existence is futile

...for now

future holds the possibility of greatness
if only I could reach
reach and attain
far but close,
close but miss
I stop.
again I'll try

...eventually

don't know when

I've stopped trying now
stopped all pain
all emotion


I still feel from time to time
when I see his face
my heart soars
sores
but that hardly happens,
he doesn't know me
like the world
they don't know me
but they will
they all will

Someday when I make it in this ever shrinking planet they'll know me.

and I'll be happy.
and I'll have him.
and I'll cry.

Coffee Cup Lies - updated!

In case anyone's having trouble reading this, because of all the beautiful colors here's the deal, it's 4 poems in one. There's the overall:

Lies on a coffee cup tainted the truth of existence and changed him. The chocolate within is a testament to sweetness. A name is nothing, Black like the coffee that isn't there. Meaning derived from nothing is pointless and if only he knew the coffee would burn.

Still, the sweet cocoa
is a refreshing replacement to usual inhabitants, after the state of madness. some love definition and he loved me. And there's so much more I could say speaking of love and coffee but I never know what I'm saying Speech without knowledge is pointless. so no one ever listens. And it doesn't matter anyways because his name lies on the coffee cup and the coffee cup lies.

Then there's the 3 within. The black:

Lies on a coffee cup
tainted the truth of existence
and changed him
Black like the coffee,
and if only he knew.
Still, some love definition
and he loved me,
so no one ever listens.
It doesn't matter anyways
because the coffee cup lies.

the blue:

The chocolate within
is a testament to sweetness.
The coffee would burn.
The sweet cocoa
is a refreshing replacement.
Speaking of love and coffee,
his name lies on a coffee cup
and the coffee cup lies.

the red:

A name is nothing
that isn't there.
Meaning derived from nothing is pointless
to usual inhabitants,
after the state of madness.
And there's so much more I could say
but I never know what I'm saying.
Speech without knowledge is pointless,
And his name lies.



P.S. the blogger auto-save did that to the overall one, but I like it so it stays!

Coffee Cup Lies

Lies on a coffee cup
tainted the truth of existence
and changed him.

The chocolate within
is a testament to sweetness.

A name is nothing,
Black like the coffee
that isn't there.

Meaning derived from nothing is pointless

and if only he knew
the coffee would burn.

Still, the sweet cocoa

is a refreshing replacement
to usual inhabitants,
after the state of madness.

some love definition
and he loved me.

And there's so much more I could say
speaking of love and coffee
but I never know what I'm saying

Speech without knowledge is pointless.

so no one ever listens.

And it doesn't matter anyways
because his name lies on a coffee cup
and the coffee cup lies.

New Poem

I wrote this during church today. It's very inspired by Tom's Diner (by Suzanne Vega). Creepily inspired, in fact I think it fits the tune and beat sort of. It also takes place in a shop and has do to with coffee... It's really just an extension of the song (again sort of). It's a play on observation and stream of consciousness. I normally don't do stuff like this (write things that are heavily inspired by something else) but it was stuck in my head so I wrote it down. If you haven't heard the song Tom's Diner I highly suggest you listen to it. it's awesome. ...but read my poem first, the beat isn't exactly the same as the song. I might keep adding to it... Oh, and it doesn't have a title.


Order coffee from a waiter
in the shop around the corner.
He pens the words I tell him;
when he leaves I scratch my chin.

There's a couple right across me
making love throughout their breakfast.
While their eyes tell me the story
they are fighting with their mouths.

Eight o' two my waiter comes back,
sets the coffee right before me.
He smile, I ask for sugar
and he steals it from a booth.

There's a man who just entered.
I am staring, does he see me?
Yes he does, he meets my eyes,
my cheeks flush, I drop my spoon.

He walks over always looking,
not at me, the man behind me.
He sits down and takes his small hand,
I turn my head back as they kiss.

There's a lady in a big hat
sitting at the silver counter,
drinking water, wearing lace gloves;
she leaves lipstick on the glass.

A man's preaching on the corner
of a god I've never heard of.
People pass him without glancing,
and my coffee's getting cold.



so that's it. there's another stanza I wrote but I don't like it that much. I'll include it down here. I think it kind of ruin the poem:

Do they realize that I'm writing
all the things I see them about them?
I move on, never caring,
knowing nothing of their lives.

So I lied... Invisibility

Yeah, so I lied. I guess I'm not totally switching over to tumblr, just cus I don't feel comfortable posting my poetry and writing there. That's more of a everyday blog while this is a creative "when the mood strikes me" blog. And the mood struck. well, sort of. I was cleaning today and came across an old poem or two and so i've decided to post them here. They're old and bad, but they're mine. This one's from 2006.

Invisibility

My invisibility clouds me,
Shrouds me,
Hides me from this terrible world.

Sounds of silence fill my head
Reminding me of my solitude,
Pressing down all around me
'till I can't stand it anymore.

BANG
CRASH
CRUNCH
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
I have to get away!




But it follows,
Always follows.



And though I try to make sounds
To prove my existence;
They qickly fade away
Into the silence,
And solitude.

As if they were never there.

So I wonder if they were.
After all,
If a tree falls and no one's around
Does it make a sound?
No one was around to hear my sounds.
So were they made at all?

Am I made at all?

Do I exist?

Or am I just a shadow,
A shadow of the former me.
I know I once existed,
But do I anymore?



My invisibility clouds me,
Shrouds me,
Hides me...

Switching and Goodbye

So, I've decided to switch over to Tumblr. I really like the platform.. and yep, that's it. so sorry bloggers! i'm off to tumblr my thoughts.